A Book for These Times

This year marks my fiftieth anniversary as a body therapist and healer. What I eventually came to know as “body wisdom” was the result of working with the wonderful, intelligent people of Santa Barbara and Montecito. For their trust and continued support, I am eternally grateful.

From the beginning, it was apparent that in order to heal the body, you needed to include the mind. If not, even the most brilliant hands-on work was short-lived, eventually reverting to old tensions and habits. In order to ensure long-lasting success, I developed a bunch of fun facts and experiential exercises to help the mind understand the body. Though no two healing journeys are the same, the impetus to embark always entails some kind of discomfort. Whether physical, emotional, spiritual, social, relational, or circumstantial, there’s catalyst that nudges us to grow and let go.

As I hold everyone in my loving thoughts, I realize that this year has been one big catalyst. On so many levels we’ve been challenged to let go in order to go on.  Circumstances have made us slow down and stay apart.  As a result, we’ve been spending an inordinate amount of time just with ourselves- our body, our thoughts. We feel the stress, we hear the distress. Your particular tension and self-talk are probably familiar. Rooted in history and reinforced by uncertainty, your discomfort reveals what needs to heal. Why not use this opportunity to change the story- for now and the future? Here’s a timely exercise I designed to help you along:

• Get small. Instead of resisting the flow, embrace the moment. To let go of tension in your body, get underneath it. Locate muscles that are stuck with tension and slowly, softly move the bones underneath. As you break the lock-hold and get things moving, feel the tension dissipate and carry away all the reasons why. Getting things moving shifts the perspective so you can see the big picture.

• Get big. Instead of reinforcing negatives, change your expectation. Reframe social isolation as an opportunity to explore virtual connectedness. No, not on the internet but through your imagination. Close your eyes and let your body’s spatial awareness open to everything nearby- sounds, trees, air. Then expand the near space to embrace all the places and people that are dear to you. Feeling the comfort of connection to something bigger than yourself helps you relax.

I don’t need to tell you that stress and deprivation undermine good health. I do need to tell you that paying attention and applying a bit of body wisdom can make a difference.

A couple of years ago, I wrote a book to introduce readers to the intelligent body and bring it into everyday life. Designed as a journey of self-discovery and self-healing, A Guide to Body Wisdom- What Your Mind Needs to Know About Your Body is the perfect book for our times. There’s a whole chapter on stress and relaxation and a trouble-shooting index with formulas for emotional upheaval, finding perspective, and existential crisis. Ultimately, the intention of the book is to help readers listen to and trust their inner knowing. What a valuable touchstone for these uncertain, tumultuous times.

Whether or not you use my book as a guide, I hope you’ll remember to pay attention to your body-mind and avoid the tendency to hold on to unproductive ways. As you head in to the holiday season, remember the small things that make a difference and align with the big things that are part of the magic. Being body-wise will help you indulge without over-indulging; set aside time for rest when needed; and honor rituals to anchor intention for the new year ahead. Going forward, continue to cultivate your body wisdom. Besides helping you through challenging times, it may hold the key to renewed inspiration, intimacy, and spiritual connection. 

A Guide to Body Wisdom- What Your Mind Needs to Know About Your Body is available online or locally in the SB area at Chaucers, Tecolote, and Heritage Goods and Supply. 

For your calendar: Carly Newfeld, host of “the Last Word: Conversations with Writers” will be interviewing me about my book. Broadcasting this Thursday, Dec. 10 at 6 pm MT on KSFR public radio in Santa Fe NM- 101.1 FM and livestreaming on www.ksfr.org

Dealing with Emotional Tension: Discover Clarity for Tackling the Big Problems and Making the Big Changes

The mandatory time out and social distancing of the past few months have given us an opportunity to look deep and evaluate what's working and what's not. Unresolved emotions are floating to the surface. Unresolved issues are demanding attention and calling for change. As a result, the need for both personal and communal healing has become loud and clear. But, before we're able to address the issues, we need to process the emotions.

With one thing piling on another and no end in sight, most of us are dealing with low-grade emotional overload. The side effects are easy to spot. Your chest is tight. Your hands are sweaty. You wake up tired and carry a bit of angst in your belly all day long. The slightest thing gets you irritated. Your vision is fuzzy and your mind is buzzy. Regardless of intentions, fielding a bunch of fear, grief, and anger affects your ability to handle a challenging situation. As neuroscientist Candace Pert explains in her book, Molecules of Emotion, triggered emotions block neural pathways, undermining clarity and compassion. Perhaps the first step in healing our community is healing ourselves.

We're all in the same fix. With questions about social unrest, climate change, political morality, financial security, and what the future holds, the stakes are high. Just tune in to your body right now and, chances are, you'll find an undercurrent of doubt, despair, and uncertainty. In this state, you really can't think clearly, listen compassionately or make good decisions. Although it feels imperative to sort things out, your perspective is impaired. In order to bring an open mind and open heart to the table, you'll need to address what's happening in your emotional body.

Although the emotions surfacing right now may feel calibrated to this novel situation, they probably have a taproot deep in your psyche. This isn't the first time in your life that you've felt unhappy about what's happening and uncertain about what's happening next. Chances are, then and now, you've ended up trying to manage your negative feelings with negative behaviors. In the long run, this doesn't work. As somatic healers know: when feelings come up and don't move on, they get tucked away and become the body's tension patterns. Based on this understanding, anywhere there's habitual tension, numbness, or agitation (forehead, jaw, stomach, chest, neck, and so forth), there'll be an emotional component.

Stored emotions play it forward. As you go through life, a random comment, piece of music, or certain smell can stir up old feelings. A movie, news item, or unexpected sound can bring up old traumas. Confronted with a worldwide pandemic and isolating protocols, it makes sense that your body would anchor down and go on high alert. Instead of trying to ignore what you're feeling, this is an opportunity to pay attention and do some emotional healing. If you feel comfortable, just ask the following questions with an open mind and listen to the answers with an open heart.

• "Where do I feel it?"

• "What does it feel like?"

• "What does it sound like?"

• "What does it look like?"

Staying focused on the physicality helps you identify the emotion without judgment or interpretation. Adding expression helps the emotional energy move out of your body, releasing in pure form. As Rachel Naomi Remen, MD says, "The only bad emotion is a stuck emotion"” Like weather coming and going, the natural state of all emotional energy is fluid and moving. Emotion= E+motion.

Dealing with E-motional Tension

1. Find a private time and place to sit quietly. Tune in to your body and get honest with what's going on. Where do you feel tension? Is your jaw clamped shut or tongue pushing against your teeth? Are your stomach, shoulder or calf muscles tight? If so, there's probably an emotional connection.

2. Without trying to construct a story or analyze the situation, notice how the tension pulls your body into a certain expression. What feeling does its shape imply? Your response will be very personal. For instance, a tight stomach might be linked to anxiety, anger, fear, or …? Just go with your first impression; don't try to over-think this.

3. On the next three exhales, make a sound that represents the tension. If the tone seems sad, mad, scared, maybe it is. Don't hold on or try to interpret it. Just let it go.

4. Now, use your hands to brush away the energetic residue; wiggle a bit to disengage any leftover tension. Don't worry about sending negative energy out into the world. Once released, there's no toxicity—it's just energy.

5. Pause. Take a moment to feel the peaceful opening where there was turmoil. Align your body-mind-spirit to be in this moment with clarity and compassion.

Following the outline above is one way to get your emotions moving and moving on out. Some other ways to deal with E-motional tension are going out for a brisk walk/ run, exercising strenuously, dancing with abandon, and working in the garden building up a sweat. And, as your body moves, breathe out the negative emotions and breathe in the positives.

Taking the time to heal your emotional body unblocks your neural circuitry. The results are tangible. Even if you're not triggered by something specific right now, just be aware of what's happening in your body when you listen to the morning news. If you end up feeling agitated, tense, or on hold, take some time to do some body-based emotional healing and evaluate the results. Once the E-motion got moving, were you more relaxed? Could you breathe more freely? Was it easier to stay in present time and be positive? Did clearing the energy lead to perspective, compassion, insight? Breaking up the blockage can be the breakthrough that helps you see the forest and the trees.

Maintaining emotional clarity in these turbulent times is an ongoing process. If your feelings get triggered along the way, get them moving and moving on out. Then, you can show up for what's happening with an open mind and open heart. Hearing what's being said, responding with compassion, and having spiritual perspective is especially important in times of upheaval and change. So, whenever you read something, watch something, or hear something that makes your body uncomfortable, it's asking you to do some emotional healing. And, when you walk away from a tough conversation, feeling anything other than interest or empathy, it's an opportunity to do some more.

Take the first step. Your commitment to healing makes it possible to show up and stand up for necessary changes. Whether about racial equality or environmental justice or reordering the dynamic of a personal relationship, the Covid-19 time-out has put us at a crossroads. As messy and uncomfortable as it may feel, remember: when feelings surface, a wound is ready to heal. Seen as a therapeutic process, clearing the fear, impatience, anger, despair, sadness, shame, and helplessness is a powerful way to embrace change. If we all take responsibility for our own healing, we can show up to tackle the big problems and make the big changes.

Please note: If you don't feel comfortable doing this alone, ask someone competent to help. If it's not the right time, put it off. Perhaps, diving in to the emotional stew is not for you. Adding the intention of clearing emotional energy to your regular practice of meditation, biofeedback, yoga, tai chi, or simple breathing exercises can achieve the same goal.

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Originally published as a featured article in The Llewellyn Journal

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Play

 “Play is the meaningless moment that makes the day memorable and worthwhile.”
— Stuart Brown, MD, author and founder of the National Institute of Play

PHOTO CREDIT: R.D. SMITH ON UNSPLASH

In the first three months of the pandemic there was a lot of covid-humor in our in-box. We laughed online at ourselves as we coveted toilet paper, binged on everything near-by, and showed up for work in pajamas. We chuckled as clever new words entered our vocabulary offering a “quarantini” with an olive at the end of a monotonous “blursday”.  By July, however, the entertaining emails had dwindled to zero.  Did we lose our sense of play?

The endless stress of seemingly endless problems makes it hard to find humor in anything. But, as counter-intuitive as it may seem, cultivating our innate sense of playfulness might be just the ticket for making it through these tough times in one piece. You see, there is a link between our ability to play and our ability to adapt, survive, and get along. Conversely, as we’ve all experienced, too much work, responsibility and seriousness results in a negative outlook, short temper, and grumpiness. Or, as my son admitted to my grandson recently, “I’m tightly wound and easily provoked.”

Even though we have the ability to seek and benefit from play all through our lives, when circumstances feel threatening, oppressive, or upsetting, the first thing to disappear is our sense of playfulness. Of course, there are situations that require serious attention, but getting stuck in serious mode is both exhausting and depressing. As any emergency room nurse knows, even in the darkest times, finding a bit of levity is a good way to rekindle energy and refuel optimism. You experience a bit of this every time you smile, even if you’re faking it. Research has shown that simply pulling the muscles of the face into a smile triggers a release of mood-boosting neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin. And, when a humorous moment is shared, it not only gets you out of the funk but it increases trust and decreases anxiety all around. So, when you bring your sense of playfulness to the gym, supermarket, or dinner table, it’s not just fun, it’s therapeutic.  

In order to invite a little play therapy into your life, just remember what makes you laugh. Everyone doesn’t laugh at the same thing. My husband thinks slap stick is hilarious; human foibles make me smile. What’s your preference? The humor of John Cleese, Chris Rock, Amy Schumer, or Hasan Minhaj? Do riddles or practical jokes or dirty limericks tickle your funny bone? Are you amused by the writing of David Sedaris, Dave Barry, or P.G. Wodehouse? Do you crack up over The Simpsons or Schitt’s Creek? Whatever makes you smile, trust your playful instincts and make it happen!

Play has a wide range of possibilities. From storytelling to sports to doing a crossword puzzle.  Just ask your smart speaker to play an old rock and roll favorite, boogie a bit to the beat, and notice how your mood changes. Go ahead and browse the New Yorker cartoons or listen to a fun podcast such as Comedy Bang Bang, My Dad Wrote Porno, or WTF with Marc Maron. Or, stay closer to home and check out the clever videos embedded in this paper’s “Morning MOJO”. You can pull up an animal-friends video on YouTube or, even better, go outside and throw a ball for your own dog. Singing “She’ll Be Comin’ Round the Mountain” with hand gestures never fails.  Water fight in the back yard, anyone?

Lately, I’ve been pondering the playful antics of my friends. Like Dan Frank and Tim Schultz tossing hilarious puns back and forth. Or, Otto Laula and Tom Moore creating a poster to spoof New Agers, titled “How to Manifest a Refrigerator”. Or, Linda Mason with her social commentary cartoons. It still cracks me up thinking of Thom Steinbeck biting Cosmo’s foot at a picnic saying “I think I’ll just have a hot dog”. And, I can’t help but chortle remembering the holiday party that Sally Chiu, Laurie Zalk, and I hosted in matching pajamas. There’s a bit of magic in all these memories that makes my heart smile.

Give play a chance in your life and let it do its magic. For no reason except being playful, meander a bit on your bike ride, play a video game with your kids, and doodle on your appointment book. Do something unexpected like make a fart noise or a goofy face. Why not share a humorous anecdote with a buddy or wink at your sweetheart across the room? Break into a little two-step singing a few chords of “Sunny Side of the Street” on your next beach walk. As you swing along, your spontaneous exuberance will lift everyone’s mood. And, be ready to respond to the possibility of playfulness wherever and however it shows up. For instance, when asked how the day went, after a slight pause, my son-in-law responded, “Swell.”  We both got a laugh from his perfectly-timed wry delivery. In these serious times, a good laugh can turn everything around.

“Grab your coat and get your hat
Leave your worry on the doorstep
Just direct your feet
To the sunny side of the street”

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This article was originally published in the Montecito Journal.

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Staying Grounded When Everything is Up in the Air

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A bit of uncertainty can be exciting. A script with a surprise ending has intrigue. Embracing the unknown is part of the artistic process. But, when the reliable routines of everyday life have been scrambled, it’s a whole different story. Negotiating the new normal of social distancing, working at home and zoom classrooms has challenged our equilibrium. Just putting gas in the car feels like an awkward new learning curve. Plans don’t get made because they’ll just get cancelled. When everything is up in the air, it’s helpful to remember something reliably constant. Like Gravity.

Being aware of your relationship with Gravity not only connects you with the ground but helps you get grounded. Following the structural wisdom that support comes from below and stability comes from above, your body’s alignment influences whether or not you feel confident and centered. As corny as it may seem, staying grounded in uncertain times may have everything to do with how you’re standing.

To experience how this works, simply follow these steps:

• Stand up and feel the impression of weight in your feet.

• Shift around so that the pressure is evenly distributed, front to back, side to side, foot to foot. Even it all out.

• Stack the rest of your structure over this base, like building blocks.

• Imagine that you’re looking into the future and notice how you feel, physically and emotionally.

• Then, tilt your weight slightly to the heals and note the effect on your sense of balance and outlook. Now, tilt to the toes and see what happens. Did your body’s relationship with Gravity change your state of mind?

Research has shown that our sense of being grounded effects the way we think and feel. Knowing how to get centered and balanced on your feet establishes a comforting reference point when things get unhinged. When you consciously move from the base, even mundane activities such as meal prep, folding laundry, or brushing your teeth have a calming potential. When you tune-in beforehand, your regular exercise, meditation, yoga, tai chi, or walk on the beach will be enhanced. Establishing a routine of staying grounded is a good way to approach these unsettling times-literally and figuratively.

Doing Tai Chi each morning helps me stay grounded all day long. Akin to moving meditation, my intention is to be present throughout the set. When worries crowd in, I lose my balance. When my mind wanders off, I lose the thread. The key is to be in the moment as one position flows to next. Moving from Single Whip to Cloud Hands with fluid grace can be a metaphor for being ready and steady as life shifts and turns. When I get hung up and need to move on, I’m reminded to forgive imperfection, stay the course, and trust the future. This reframe helps me get on board to ride the covid-driven wave wherever it goes.

Recently, I asked several Santa Barbara colleagues what was helping them stay grounded in these novel times. Here are their responses:

“In my experience, there is nothing quite so healing as being in nature and in Santa Barbara, we are blessed with easy access. Walk one of our beaches at low tide. Hike a trail (masked when near others), sit under a tree, feed the birds, ride bikes, play catch in the front yard. Try to get off the screens and enjoy just being outside alone or with loved ones.” — Debra Manchester, psychotherapist, director of the Family Therapy Institute.

“I walk on the beach with Kobe my dog, as much as I can. I treasure my friendships more than ever. I hope for the best.” — Astrid De Wild, Pilates instructor.

“I have always done better for my own grounding and equanimity with a body oriented spiritual practice. I try to at least hike (alone so I can tune inward) or do yoga to help me get through the day in balance.” — David Cumes MD, surgeon, shaman, author.

“When we literally loosen up the way we think about the movements we make, the body listens and responds accordingly and vice versa. At the moment, my motto is: when in doubt, wiggle it out." — Alexis Pittmon, Pilates instructor.

“Sense the contact under your feet. The Earth is our guide”. — Luis Sanchez, Feldenkrais practitioner, Qi Gong instructor.

“In these interesting, unusual and challenging times, I find the following activities help me stay calm, optimistic and balanced: being still with a light and positive attitude, breathing deeply, meditating, focusing on gratitude for all the wonderful things and people in my life, connecting with nature, walking outside in fresh air - and then on some days, just turning on fun music and dancing!” — Pamala Oslie, author, intuitive.

"I find in these challenging times, I often watch the morning sun rise. The return of light each day reminds me that even in the darkest of times, light returns. After watching the sun rise I sit and meditate, visualizing the light emanating from within my heart and shining light out to all who are suffering. To see the light, feel the light in my heart, and focus on sharing light with those who may be experiencing darkness in their life, helps me to stay grounded." — Cheri Clampett, yoga therapist, teacher, author.

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This article was originally published in the Montecito Journal.

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An Opportunity for Healing

Photo credit: Luiza Braun on Unsplash

The unrelenting disruption and uncertainty of our lives have rattled our emotional equilibrium. Patience has worn thin. The kids are getting scrappy and the parents are getting snappy. Small fractures in personal relationships are showing up and the large rift in our social contract has taken to the streets. This mandatory timeout has put us up close and personal with what needs to be seen, felt, and resolved with a kind of urgency we can’t avoid.

As every therapist knows, when stuff comes up, it’s a great opportunity for healing. The discomfort is a messenger; the pain is a guide; and honoring the process allows old wounds to mend from the inside out. Here’s an easy way to understand the progression: life’s circumstances have stirred the pot and whatever was tucked away and silenced has floated to the top. Now, you have a choice. You can shove it back down, rationalize it away, revert to old distractions, assign blame, and… hold on to it. Or, you can move towards the discomfort, identify the feelings, do some emoting, and … let it go. Whether or not you see the healing potential, with emotions on the surface everywhere, it’s hard to overlook the catharsis

When an emotion gets triggered, it has an energetic footprint. The energy of fear feels very different in the body than the energy of anger. Sadness feels different than joy. Like weather coming and going, the natural state of this emotional energy is fluid and moving. Emotion= E+motion. Because you experience emotions physically, your body is a part of this emotional equation. The simple questions of “what does it feel like” and “where do you feel it” are that much more effective when you add “what does it sound like” and “what does it look like”. Including this expressive component gets the energy moving. Then, instead of getting stuck and gumming up the works, the energy moves along. This is important because, as neuroscientist Candace Pert, PhD, states: “When emotions are repressed, denied, not allowed to be whatever they may be, our network of pathways gets blocked…and we lose the full capacity to think and act effectively. We also lose our connection with compassion for ourselves and others.” 

Like many people in these precarious times, you’re likely to find a bit of fear rumbling around. Is fear of the unknown gripping your shoulders? Fear of being out of control bracing your low back? Fear of the future clamping your jaw? Inspirational speaker and author Iyanla Vanzant recently stated on her show Fear Not, “… the fear that’s coming up is the fear you brought into this pandemic”.  What she’s saying is that the particular hyper-vigilance you’re feeling in your shoulders, back and jaw is possibly old fear you’ve been carrying around for a long time. Honoring what’s happening in your physical body is a good way to connect with this fear, current and past, and let it go.

To experience how this works, you’ll need a private space to do some personal healing work. Invite your curious mind to step aside and explore your emotional body on its own terms. Look for the tension/ agitation/ discomfort to zero in on the feelings. Stay connected with your emotional body and find the sound and gesture that comes from this place. At first, you’ll be self-conscious and feel awkward, but just make that sound on the exhale and sweep it away with your hands.  Then, see how you feel afterwards. As a mentor of mine, Dennie La Tourelle, used to say, “The only bad emotion is a stuck emotion”.

If getting in touch with your emotional body feels too scary or your resistance is too entrenched, this may be the perfect time to ask for help. After all, when it’s up, it’s up and there are many ways to get it moving. In this case you literally have nothing to lose except fear itself! Our community has an impressive array of talented therapists doing online sessions right now. Three months in, psychotherapist Michael Seabaugh recently shared that he and his patients have adapted well to the format, some even expressing a preference to continue teletherapy sessions once the restrictions lift. Connecting with a professional can help you avoid detours and distractions, offer valuable guidance, and fortify your commitment to heal.

As a somatic therapist, I’ve helped many people listen to and honor the emotional energy in their body. Because our relationship with fear has a primal taproot, it’s energy can be stuck for years and we just think it is normal. When events catalyze fear on any level, we have the opportunity to dredge deep and get it all moving. Rather than anchor down until these Covid times are over, why not do some emotional healing? Freeing up the E-motion opens the door to clear thinking and deep wisdom. Right now, we need as much of that as possible. 

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This article was originally published in the Montecito Journal.

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A Moving Inspiration

Photo Credit: Cody Black

The past few weeks of suspended routines, social isolation, and uncertainty have been tough. Regrouping at home and grappling with the full scope of health and financial considerations is a fulltime job with lots of scary variables. Even such basics as shopping for food and pumping gas feel complicated and threatening. My poet daughter-in-law calls this “the underlying thread of dread.”  Although fueled by thoughts and emotions, the angst of it all ends up in the body. You feel it as an oppressive presence whenever you need to relax, focus, or find inspiration. In order to negotiate the emotional upheaval of the Covid quarantine, it’s important to know how to let it go and let it flow.

From the body’s point of view, it’s natural to lock down and armor up in response to an unexpected, unprecedented threat. This shows up in varied and personal ways-  a clenched jaw, knotted stomach, tight butt, scrunched eyes, and so forth. Knowing where you carry stress tension establishes a reference point for letting it go. Of course, you want to be on guard. But, you also want to be resilient, resourceful and ready.  Like weeds in your garden, when uncertainty and worry get a foothold, they need to be found and uprooted. Take a moment right now and scan through your body. Where are your favorite stress tension hideouts? Once you locate the tension, you can implement basic body mechanics to loosen its hold and get it moving again. Here’s how this works.

Find a tense place in your body and intentionally move the bones and tissues under and around this place to free up the muscles and get circulation flowing. For instance, if your jaw is clenched, move it softly and slowly, open and closed, side to side, forward and back. No stretching or pushing; just juicy and easy. Glide your tongue around the surfaces of your teeth. Gently stretch, pout, and pucker your lips. Mobilizing the bones and tissues is a good way to undermine the message of being on guard, anywhere in your body. Your shoulders lift, rotate, shrug, slide, and shake. Your legs and hips roll, jiggle, sway, and swing. Remembering to move loosely and fluidly sends a positive message to the brain that all is well and life is good.

The best way to counter emotional-mental lockdown is to get your body moving. Get off the couch, turn off the computer and iPhone and tune in to your body.  Whether you dance, get on the treadmill, march around the house, or take a walk outside, the important thing is to get it moving. Instead of using your energy to talk, figure, plan, and rehash, use it to be physical. Instead of fretting and feeling stir crazy, shift your attention to the mechanical brilliance of your mobilized body.  Develop an easy cadence, swinging your arms and legs to disengage both physical and emotional tension. Not only is this cross-crawl motion relaxing, it balances the brain and brings the body into harmony.

Once you get the rhythm going, expand your sensory awareness to include the space around you. Hear the remarkable repertoire of a mockingbird; notice the play of light on a palm frond; smell the blossoming citrus. Feel how your feet touch the ground. Sense how your moving body is also part of a natural world that appears to be thriving. Allow some hope to filter through as you observe the miracle of springtime and greening of our mountains.  Like riding a wave, keeping your body moving could be the key to staying on top of this fluid moment. Both literally and figuratively.

The truth is, any time events challenge equilibrium, your moving body can help you regain both composure and balance. Like a guided meditation, being centered in your body is a good way to be present in the moment and connect with a bigger truth. Tuning in can give you the comfort of perspective and, even, be inspiring. For instance, on a recent walk, I had the thought that we’re all witnessing a life-changing moment together. A moment that’s as transformative as seeing the “blue marble” photo of planet Earth in 1972.  Like then, we see clearly the beauty and vulnerability of our precious earthly home. Perhaps, on the other side of this worldwide time-out, our global collective consciousness will be different.  Like philosophers have told us, we will know that all are ONE.  And, as one, we will seek and find ways to solve our existential problems.

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This article was originally published in the April 2020 issue of the Montecito Journal.

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Empower On-Demand Podcast

Living Consciously in Your Body During a Pandemic with Ann Todhunter Brode
http://www.empoweradio.com/home/podcasts/on-demand/next-room/816259-Living-Consciously-Your-Body-During-Pandemic-with-Ann-Todhunter-Brode.html

The Dr. Pat Show: Talk Radio to Thrive By!

Special Guest Host Julia Griffin - Listening to the Body, Finding Peace, and Eliminating Stress with Ann Brode
https://www.transformationtalkradio.com/episode/the-dr-pat-show-talk-radio-to-thrive-by-listening-to-the-body-finding-peace-and-eliminating-stress-with-special-guest-host-julia-griffin-and-guest-ann-brode,28874.html

Garden Therapy

An easy way to feel better right outside your back door.

Photo Credit: Tim Cooper on Unsplash.com

The necessary restrictions of Covid19 have disrupted reliable routines and dislodged familiar reference points. My usual schedule of going to the gym every morning, writing uninterrupted for a couple of hours, seeing clients, and being social has been sidelined. Now, even, trips to the grocery store need to be planned and all contact beyond my pod has gone virtual.  The mornings are spent overseeing home school schedules; the afternoons dedicated to finding activities to keep the kids engaged without putting them in front of a screen. My appointment calendar is starkly bare and, on a very basic level, I feel disoriented. 

I know I’m not alone. Sequestered at home with a lot of time to fill, many people are reporting epic cleaning episodes, media binging flurries, and baking marathons. For me, working in the garden does the trick. And, what a great time to be in the garden! The rains have been plentiful and springtime is here. This means everything is blooming, the air is fresh, and the weeds compliant. Who knew that rooting out dandelions could deliver such pleasure?  Of course, it’s satisfying to get these little nuisances out of my yard but it’s more than that. When I spend time in the garden, my low-level agitation dissipates and I end up feeling more peaceful and grounded. It may surprise you to learn this positive outcome is sourced as much in biochemistry as it is in a love of gardening. 

Being around plants delivers a good dose of a little-known mood booster, negative ions. Negative ions are oxygen atoms charged with an extra electron. These odorless, tasteless, invisible ions occur in various concentrations outdoors, in nature. Over the past twenty years, research has shown that exposure to negative ions increases our levels of serotonin- a neurotransmitter that’s connected with feeling good, alleviating depression, relieving stress, and boosting energy. Studies done in Japan concluded that simply looking at plants will reduce stress, fear, anger, and sadness and lower blood pressure, pulse rate, and muscle tension. It turns out, when I lean over to smell those intriguing scented geraniums, I’m also inhaling in a bunch of feel-good ions!

So, if Covid19 compliance has you or your kids in a funk, the best remedy may be those negative ions- right outside the backdoor in your garden. Whether you actually take trowel in hand, sit in stillness, or romp around wildly, being outdoors will get the serotonin flowing. It also expands your perspective. Here, instead of the incessant drill of negative and more negative news, the big story features apricot drop, a pair of hooded orioles, a blue belly lizard, and an occasional bunny.  The other day, watching the clouds track across the sky captivated my attention for 30 minutes. This was thirty minutes when I was not ensnared in the unfolding pandemic drama- trying to figure where it’s all going and when it’s going to end. I was simply there, in the garden, feeling more optimistic, relaxed and invigorated. But, don’t take my word for it. Spend some time in your garden communing with nature and notice how you feel. Does your experience validate the science?

We’ve been sheltering-at-home for weeks and there are weeks more to go.  Adjusting to this means setting up new routines and remembering old reference points. Instead of lamenting limitations, why not initiate a practice of going outside every day to connect with Nature? Delight in the full bloom of cherry blossoms, lilacs and peonies. Let the negative ions do their work. Do a bit of physical labor to get your circulation flowing. Feel the earth under your feet; get your hands in the soil. Pull a weed, prune the lavender. Or, simply find a comfortable place to sit quietly. No matter how or where, spending twenty minutes outdoors helps you get oriented in the here and now. Here life goes on and now you’re part of the flow. This reminder might be just the therapy you need.  

Authors note: If the garden isn’t your thing, just get outside anywhere. As research demonstrates, being amidst greenery guarantees you’ll reap the serotonin benefits of negative ions. With social distancing in mind, take a twenty-minute walk on the beach or in a nearby park. Immerse yourself in the woods on a wilderness trail. Or, just gaze on the photo at the top of this post! Whichever way, simply getting in touch with the natural world puts you right in the zone.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6334070/

https://www.businessinsider.com/japanese-forest-bathing-can-improve-health-happiness-2018-4

This article was first published on Thrive Global.

Calm Your Nerves

Photo Credit: Tina Witherspoon on Unsplash.com

How to get the rest you need in stressful times.

By Ann Todhunter Brode

The repercussions of our current health crisis have impacted every part of our lives leaving everyone I know feeling agitated and anxious. What used to be simple and taken for granted is now complex and uncertain. We need to be aware of day to day things like washing hands, opening doors, and touching. Who knew we touched our faces so much? Travel, events, school, and anything social has been cancelled. Our work routines have been totally disrupted or discontinued altogether. Add to this, the worry about long term financial, health, and shelter security. No wonder we feel stressed out.  

Knowing how stress undermines our ability to be resilient and adapt to change, it’s particularly important right now to find ways to calm your nerves and get some rest. This can be a challenge when mind and body are plugged in to survival mode. You know how it goes. Even though you’re exhausted and want to settle down, your mind is buzzing, muscles tense, and physiology churning. Just telling your body to let go and relax adds to the problem. And, when you finally nod off, sleep ends up being fitful and spotty. When this happens for one night, it effects your ability to show up responsibly, resiliently, and lovingly. When it happens night after night, it undermines long term health and well-being.  

In order to interrupt the pattern of stress and tension so you can get the rest you need, you’ll need to set aside a few minutes to relax before sleep. Lots of people report good results when they take a soothing bath, listen to spa music, meditate, or do some restorative yoga. Recently, I’ve found that placing my hands on my belly and quieting my gut-brain does the trick. A bit of simplified science will help explain why this works for me. 

 It all has to do with the vagus nerve which connects the brain to the abdomen. Amongst other things, this wandering nerve controls the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS). The PNS is the rest-digest counterpoint to the fight-or-flight sympathetic nervous system. So, any time you’re all worked up without an immediate fight or flight reason, your PNS needs to step in and tell your brain to chill out. With over eighty percent of vagal nerve flow going from your gut to your brain, deep breathing is a good way to stimulate the PNS and activate a relaxation response. Then, your physiology shifts to reduce anxiety, stress, anger, and inflammation. Because of this direct gut-brain connection, it makes sense that focused belly breathing is a good strategy for calming your nerves. 

Try it out for yourself. 

• Thirty minutes before sleep, dim the lights and turn off the screens. Even better, put your iPhone in another room. This let’s your body-mind know it’s time to get ready for bed.

• Once in bed, get comfortable with adequate pillow support and cozy covers.

• Scan through your body, letting each muscle surrender to Gravity. Tell your body that the day is done and all is well. 

• Then, gently place your hands on your belly, one above the solar plexus, the other a bit lower. Feel how your abdomen moves with each inhale and exhale. Locate pockets of discomfort and direct your breath to dissipate the tension.  

• Breathing deeply and slowly, string three or four inhale-exhales together and then see if you can do more. Before you know it, you’ll be tucked into a restful sleep.  

Don’t be discouraged if your attention drifts away from your belly after just a couple of breaths.  Once you discover that you’re off thinking, worrying, and planning again, just return to your body. Even in normal circumstances, sustained body awareness takes practice. You may find it helpful to know that focus is either centered on word thought or on body sensation. Never both at once. Because of this, belly breathing has the potential to calm both mind and nerves. And, if you awake with mind a-buzz and feeling wired, just take a few minutes to belly breathe and calm your nerves again. 

Over the next few weeks of community lock-down, it’s important to take measures to mitigate the inherent stress. Instead of ramping up and letting your sympathetic nervous system run the show, set aside some time to destress and reset your equilibrium.  Before bedtime is great. But, any transition time is an opportunity to practice- when you first wake up, between appointments, after work or before dinner. Put your hands on your belly and take a few deep breaths. Then, whatever you do next, you’ll be more relaxed. Instead of being driven by your deepest fears, you’ll be able to access your deepest knowing to negotiate this time of change and challenge. The truth is, learning how to calm your nerves is a valuable skill for life. 

Note: Check out my helpful S.L.E.E.P. video. 

This article was first published on Thrive Global

Feb 2020 - Show Up for Love

Photo Credit: Gus Moretta on Unsplash.com

Valentine’s Day is about love. More than an idea or a sentiment, love is a relationship. In addition to romantic love, you love your family and pets, home and garden, job, community, country, and planet Earth. Taking a moment to acknowledge these relationships can be as simple as sending a card, sitting in quiet appreciation, or sharing time with a loved one. Being present in that moment is a bit more complicated. When you’re acclimated to the pace and intensity of a creative, multidimensional life, shifting gears to show up for love can be hard to pull off. Tuning in to your smart body will help.

From your body’s point of view, love is potent. Research shows that feeling love relaxes the muscles in the chest and increases oxytocin (the love hormone). You experience this as a warm, fuzzy feeling. Conversely, feeling hate or disdain, increases muscular tension and stress hormones. You experience this as anxiety or…heartache. Connecting the heart to love is nothing new. The Rig Veda, an ancient Hindu scripture written in 1500 BC, recognized the heart chakra as the center of love. Opening this chakra was the key to giving/ receiving love.

Finding your heart chakra is pretty simple. Not exactly at the site of your organic heart, this chakra occupies space directly behind your breastbone. Put your hand there and it’s easy to imagine a link to empathy, acceptance of others, and love. This heart space in your body is like an emotional barometer. It feels soft and light when you’re nurtured; braced and heavy when you’re criticized. It tightens up when you’re resentful, jealous, or judgmental. And, it opens up with appreciation and compassion. During somatic therapy, people often report compression in their chest when dealing with grief or despair. In contrast, when they feel held in love and high regard, their chest releases and it’s easier to breathe. When you open your heart, you’re ready to show up for love.

Here’s a meditation to open your heart. Find a quiet, comfortable, private place to sit for five minutes. Take a few breaths to connect with your conscious body. Close your eyes and let your fingers rest on lightly on your chest. Then, breathing into your heart space, feel the filling and emptying, front and back. Let this movement literally loosen up any stiffness or stillness. The backstory isn’t important, just find the holding and get it flowing. Exhale it all away and inhale compassion and acceptance. As your breathing runs into less and less resistance, your heart space will feel more expansive. Just let it get bigger and bigger until there’s room for all you love. Bring this quality of big love to share with others.

Whether on Valentine’s Day or any other day of the year, coming from an open-hearted place augments intimacy. Speaking with an open-heart gives substance to your loving intentions. This can happen anywhere- sitting in front of a cozy fire, at a table for two in a restaurant, or walking side by side on the beach. Because language is often emotionally wired and image driven, talking and staying present at the same time can be challenging. If your mind wanders off for any reason and the intimate moment falters, don’t worry. Just return to your body and its heart space to give/receive love in real time.

Showing up with an open heart invites other people to show up and open up as well. When your heart is open, the channel is open for loving thoughts, feelings, and words. Given that we live in such a time of discord and distress, finding a day to share a bit of love sounds like a good idea.

Twenty-Twenty Insight for the New Year

January is named for the ancient Roman god Janus. Depicted with faces looking backward and forward, the image suggests the wisdom of taking time to see where you’ve been and where you’re going. But, it’s also an opportunity to stand on the threshold and see where you are. A prudent practice for any transition, this can be especially rewarding at the beginning of a new decade.

More than simply taking stock, looking inward opens the door to insight, intuition, and inspiration. In order to find that door, however, you need to slow down, get quiet, and pay attention. This can be a challenging assignment. When your daily routine and sense of self are built around external connection and experience, shifting from outward to inward can feel disorienting. You’ll probably encounter push back. But, hang in there.

To support your introspective intentions, you’ll want to be by yourself- without the distraction of companions, scheduled obligations, i-connections, mantras or even ambient music. Find a place to sit or walk that feels comfortable and uncluttered. Stay focused inwardly until you clear the airwaves and get the gift. As you tune in, don’t be surprised if you come across layers of fatigue, parades of word thoughts and piles of emotional leftovers. Here are three strategies to keep you on track.

1. Take a walk without a talk. Whether on the beach or a mountain trail, walking outside in silence helps clear your mind and focus on your senses. Feel the essential motion of left-right cross crawl synchrony. Notice the sounds and images around you. As you go along, leave behind the world of emotional turmoil and over-crowding. Feel your sense of space expand to include trees, sky and water. Without expectation, invite inspiration to ignite your creativity.

2. Disconnect and sit quietly. Find a comfortable place to sit privately and focus your attention on the present moment. In order to do this, turn off your smartphone and put it in another room. Removing the distraction of being in touch helps you get in touch with yourself! Spend enough time to let the discomfort of being “alone” fade. If your mind loses focus and wanders off, disconnect and reconnect again to the sensations of right now. Without expectation, let your intuition reveal what you’re missing/ what you need.

3. Centering in the moment. Sitting or lying down, focus your primary awareness in your body. Let all tension soften and succumb to Gravity. As your body relaxes, notice how your mind fluctuates from the past to the future, by-passing the present moment altogether. Your breathing body can help you stay in the uncluttered NOW. If your awareness is centered on exhale-pause-inhale-repeat, notice how word-thoughts can’t compete. Without expectation, invite an insight to guide your way.

Rather than rushing forward and getting on with the agenda, pausing for a moment of inspiration, intuition, and insight is a wise way to start the new year. Aligned with inner truth, your intuition can help you make decisions, your inspiration can help you set course, and your insight can inform your resolve. In the words of local author Diana Raab, “It's not about making New Year's resolutions; it's more about having the intention to move forward.”

Here are more encouraging words for the New Year from our creative wellness community:

“Pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within.” — Eckhart Tolle, spiritual teacher, author

“Everything that comes to me is for me, either as a lesson or a blessing!”  — Valerie Girard, DC, chiropractor, author, teacher

“May 2020 bring your greatest visions!”    — Oprah Winfrey, media celebrity

“As we step forward into this new decade, Pause, ask yourself how can I Be Joy-Full & how can I share this Joy through acts of consciousness and Kindness?”   — Monika McCoy DC, chiropractor, intuitive healer

“Move in the direction of your dreams.” — Jack Canfield, author, life coach

“Enjoy Life.” — Pamala Oslie, author, intuitive, aura reader

“We are all faced in 2020 with enormous social responsibilities. There is nothing we cannot accomplish this year if everyone of us knows we deeply matter and act with that conviction. 2020 is about reaping the consequences of our actions or inaction.” — Jennifer Freed, PhD, therapist, author, astrologer

“When we cultivate kindness for ourselves and our beautiful, awkward, imperfect, goofball humanity, we can find a lot of wisdom in discomfort and use it to grow in remarkable ways.” — Dave Mochel, teacher, author, inspirational speaker

“Plan to set time aside this year to look inward and discover your greatest asset- body wisdom.” — Ann Todhunter Brode, somatic healer, author, teacher

Dec 2019 - Holiday Equilibrium

PHOTO CREDIT: BRUCE MARS ON PIXEL.COM

Traversing the stretch from Thanksgiving to New Year always seems to challenge my equilibrium no matter how resolute I am. With the short days and long nights, my natural inclination to be quiet and reflective competes with the cultural expectation to be out and about. Each year, I look for body-wise ways to support my inner-outer balance so I don’t end up in deficit by the end of the year. Of course, the ultimate goal is to participate in the festivities and create time to be quiet and reflective.

The holiday season makes this a complicated calibration. Take on too much and you feel overwhelmed. Get snagged by emotional upset (yours/ theirs) and you go off on a tangent. Over-indulge and you feel sluggish. Skimp on rest and you feel depleted. If you keep pushing anyway, all you have left is autopilot. Instead of collecting negatives this year, how about letting your smart body help you find a graceful balance?

With all the added shopping, baking, wrapping, feasting, partying, and so forth, your energy expenditure increases considerably. Consciously creating more opportunities to take a break will replenish the stores. Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, maintaining equilibrium is essential for health and happiness. Here are some body-centered ways to make sure this happens.

Be in touch. Regardless of how much you pare it down, this is a crazy busy time of year. Being in touch means paying attention and taking measures to restore the balance.

• When you feel tension or fatigue, create time for a cup of tea or a hot bath to replenish your energy.

• When you feel over-stimulated, a few minutes of focused breathing can help you reboot.

• When you feel distracted or out of touch, check in to the left-right, front-back grounding of your feet to return to present time.

• When you feel frazzled by deadlines or endless lists, let your eyes wander to the natural world for some perspective. Or, better, yet, take a nature-focused walk.

Social resiliency. No matter how gregarious your personality is, there are times when you just want to be at home and quiet. Including some down time before and after events will help sustain your social resiliency.

• When your social calendar has back to back events, intentional interludes offer a moment to shift gears.

• When too much is on the agenda, take a breather. Literally, empty mental & emotional content with each exhale and fill up with renewed energy with each inhale. It works!

• When you’ve committed to being out and you really feel like being in, give yourself permission to show up, be pleasant and leave early. Some people call this the Irish Good-bye; my son-in-law calls it the French Exit.

Deep rest. In this busy season, getting a good night’s sleep increases your stamina for the next day. But, to ensure deep body-mind-spirit rest, you need to know how to turn it all off. From your body’s point of view, accumulated mental & emotional impressions register as congestion. In order to let it go, you need to let it flow.

• When you locate places of turmoil or tension in your body, soften, shake, or brush them off.

• When you feel stuck or blocked, imagine a cleansing stream of pure light flowing through.

• When the word images just won’t stop, anchor your awareness at the bottom of the exhale, pause, and let the inhale transmute the effluvia. Repeat until you cast off to sleep.

Incorporating these small practices in your daily routine will help you maintain equilibrium through the holiday season. A shift of awareness and bit of intention makes the difference between having a good time and getting strung out. This year, let’s all cruise to the new year with good energy to spare!

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Give the gift of Body Wisdom to all the people on your list who’d appreciate finding out more about radiant health and increasing intimacy, intuition and spiritual awareness.

“Ann Brode gives the body its due by showing how it can function as a source of wisdom and strength in total harmony with the mind. Brode’s perspective is long overdue, offering a holistic, balanced view of what it means to be human.”

— Larry Dossey MD

Available at Chaucers and Tecolote in Santa Barbara and at Amazon online.

The Uplifting Message of Giving Thanks

Because my family and friends are politically engaged and socially conscious, discussing serious issues is inevitable whenever we get together. Unfortunately, with so many complex problems confronting the world today, a simple conversation can get mired in negativity. Even when everyone seems to agree, a sweet moment of conviviality can sour the minute talk veers away from trivial topics. In the past couple of years, I’ve relied on my body wisdom to help me show up and stay present for the uplifting message of giving thanks.

PHOTO CREDIT: TYLER NIX ON UNSPLASH.COM

Let go & be present. Listening to your emotional body will help you participate in the conversation and stay positive. Let me explain how this works. The body responds to uncertainty and discord with primitive clarity. Wired to fight or flee, your unconscious body doesn’t recognize the difference between political shenanigans and imminent disaster. Because we’re so inundated with news-cycle drama, a simple gesture, careless comment, or snarky response can trigger anger, fear, and helplessness. Then your breath goes on hold, your tummy tightens, and your jaw clamps down. Tuning in periodically will help you assess and adjust the emotional tenor. Quite simply

If your muscles are tensed up, you’re uptight.
If your breathing is shallow, you’re on hold.
If you feel dull or numb, you’re spaced out.
If you’re agitated or jittery, you’re triggered.

If you’re uptight, on hold, spaced out, or triggered, it’s impossible to be open, relaxed and present in any social setting. Redirecting your attention to soften the tension, breathe expansively, and feel your feet on the ground is a good way to return to real time and be positive. Now, you can embody the uplifting message of giving thanks.

Align with spirit. Letting go and being present makes it easier to recognize your blessings and be grateful. When you’re relaxed, it’s easier to imagine positive solutions. When you take off your armor, it’s easier to feel the love and interconnectedness of all life. When you feel connected, it’s easier to invite spirit into the equation. When spirit is part of the equation, anything is possible. In this place of body-mind-spirit alignment, giving thanks just feels natural.

Thanksgiving is one of the most beloved holidays in the year. It’s theme of gratitude is an opportunity to pause, reflect, and connect. Even in uncertain times, this age-old tradition has always been an effective way to affirm faith and assuage fear. As the holiday season approaches why not invite your body wisdom along? Whether as host or guest, you’re an integral part of the whole. Your positive presence will have a powerful impact on everyone’s experience!

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My personal slice of gratitude. I’m thankful for the ways my family and friends are concerned and on board to serve the highest good. I’m grateful for the support and inspiration of wise clients, professional luminaries, & colleagues as I carry the message of body wisdom into the world. There’s no doubt, I’m fortunate to live at a time when both seekers and scientists understand that body, mind, and spirit are one.

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Body-Mind Healing

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Photo Credit: Kieran Osborn on Unsplash.com

The healing community has long-recognized the relationship between what we think and how we feel.  Asking the question “where do you feel this in your body?’ is an obvious way to make this connection. Answering the question “what would your body like to say?” leads to a deeper conversation. When your conscious mind monitors self-talk and constructs positive visualizations, you’re doing mind-body healing. When your conscious body directs the process, it’s a slightly different approach. This is what I call body-mind healing.

Yoga, meditation, movement therapy, and hands-on bodywork present excellent opportunities for body-mind healing. Anytime your primary awareness is centered in the physical moment, you have a bridge to information and guidance directly from your feeling body. Simply noticing the relative tension/ relaxation, discomfort/ ease, and stiffness/ mobility gives you a new perspective. From your body’s point of view, you’re either relaxed, comfortable, and moving fluidly or you’re not. When you link the feeling of being stuck/ awkward/ numb/ tense with entrenched behaviors or old ways of thinking, you’ve opened the door for body-mind healing.  

Addressing the body’s experience of stress and tension is vital for long-term change and integrated healing. Let me tell you why. From the very beginning, you responded to stress by tensing up to guard against physical/ emotional pain. But, if after stressful times passed, your tension held on, so did the stress. From a body-mind point of view, you’re stuck in the past.  

Body-Mind Healing Exercise.

Checking in.

To experience a bit of body-mind healing right now, scan through your body and notice places of tension/no tension as you go along. Aside from what’s necessary for sitting upright, the rest of your body should feel easy and relaxed. Check your belly, forehead, and chest for likely places of residual tension. Like many people, your map of tension is probably familiar and long-standing. Could this be a template of your emotional history?  

Making the link.

Now, bring your awareness to one of your favorite tension holdouts and squeeze a little more. Ask your body-mind, “What emotion does this feels like?” For instance, clenching your hands might feel like an expression of fear. Scrunching your forehead might hold a sensation of anger.  Tightening your chest might tap into a well of sadness. No matter how much you think you know about this tension, resist the temptation to jump in and intellectualize.  Just be with the feeling and ask your body-mind “what’s this all about?”. Letting the answer come from the body is probably a new experience. Be patient, focus on sensation, and something will pop into your mind.

Interpreting the answer.

Because the non-verbal body lives in a world of sensation and experience, don’t expect your answer to be straight-forward, rational, or intellectual. You’ll need to use your imagination to translate.  Sometimes the body part itself gives you a simple language association. For instance, a tight belly could indicate “undigested ideas”; a scrunched forehead might be worried about “what’s ahead”; and a tense back probably needs more support & “back up”.  Perhaps, there’s a current situation to be handled; a memory that’s heart-breaking; or a person that’s a pain in the neck.

When your body reveals what’s going on and your mind pays attention, you’re engaged in body-mind healing. Listening to your body’s experience of tension/ no tension gives you a new angle on what needs to be expressed and addressed. Trust your body.  It’ll let you know if you’re on the right track. And, even if you drew a blank with the above exercise, your body-mind may still have something to say. For now, your healing may be about learning to shift focus from mind to body.

Body-mind healing is an effective therapeutic avenue for addressing old tension patterns, changing rigid behaviors, and leaving your history behind. The results speak for themselves.

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If you want to learn more about the body-mind, check out my book Body Wisdom for Life- What Your Mind Needs to Know About Your Body (Llewellyn Worldwide, 2018).  Introducing ways to apply body wisdom in everyday life, this book includes chapters on getting in touch, self-care, stress & relaxation, healing, the emotional body, intimacy & intuition, and spirituality.

When Everything Goes into a Tail Spin

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Photo Credit: Katie Drazdauskaite

Not long ago, I was cruising along feeling good. I enjoyed a healthy body, supportive and delightful family, interesting & reliable friends, and a successful career. Most of my juice was going towards finishing and promoting my first book, A Guide to Body Wisdom. Although driven by the deadlines and challenges of becoming a published writer, I’d reframed the stress as an exciting adventure. Then, everything went into a tail spin. 

In the midst of natural disasters, health emergencies, financial reversals, and losing dear friends, my sweet, predictable life fell apart. As one thing led to the next, my sense of being in control crumbled and the ordinary strategy of working harder & getting creative wasn’t the solution. In order to find the way through, I needed to practice what I preach and let body wisdom be my guide.

I didn’t really have a choice. Because life was in such disarray, I needed to put one step in front of the next just to find my way. With my attention necessarily focused on the immediate present, any professional, political and social interests receded into the background. During this time of healing and repair, listening to my body became a lifeline. Here are a couple of things I learned in the process:

Conserve energy. Listening to my energetic body clarified the importance of making good choices. Like a mathematical equation, it was obvious that a walk on the beach gave me energy; scanning social media did not. Listening to the news was depleting; sitting in the garden was replenishing. Binging on the 300 plus episodes of Resurrection was like eating junk food; while listening to my BodyBreath CD was nurturing. Conserving energy gave me the resources to focus on the essentials of healing.

Get current. Listening to my emotional body helped me stay current with my feelings. The relative comfort/ discomfort of flowing versus stuck was easy to discern. If I felt calm and centered, my emotional body felt at ease. If I felt tight, numb, or agitated, my emotional body felt uneasy. Creating private moments to get the stuck places moving again included rocking/ moaning to release grief and shaking/humming to release fear. Getting current helped me sideline the drama and do what needed to be done.

Stay connected. Listening to my spiritual body established a link to higher knowing and endless possibility. Visualizing an open channel through my body and the expansive space around my body created a context where I could ask for & receive help without reservation. Here, it was easy to feel the presence of love and support. Here, the steady voice of my higher self could deliver words of trust and acceptance and light at the end of the tunnel. Staying connected helped me show up with confidence and grace to see my way through. 

I know many of my readers are experiencing their own upheavals. I’ve written this for you as a reminder to let body wisdom be your guide. Of course, when you listen in, your own body’s wise council will be tailor-made just for you & your circumstances.

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Addendum: I am 6 months out from hip replacement surgery, feeling renewed and inspired to continue carrying the torch for Body Wisdom. I’m seeing clients again for bodywork and somatic healing – please email me to book a session in Santa Barbara; writing articles for Somatic Psychotherapy Today ; and trying to stay current on social media (Facebook and LinkedIn)

Dry Skin Brushing

A simple way to get things moving again.

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PHOTO CREDIT: NICK KARVOUNIS ON UNSPLASH.COM

Nature is doing its thing outside – budding and buzzing and flowing. But, after months of harsh weather and too much sitting around, you may be feeling sluggish and out of synch. Following the principle of inertia, you may need something to break winter’s pattern of inactivity and get things moving again. My favorite way to do this is … dry skin brushing!

Over the past few months, you’ve probably spent more time indoors ruminating and less time outdoors moving around. As a result, your natural process of sloughing off the old skin to make way for the new has slowed down and become less efficient. This can result in a pasty, patchy skin with sluggish pores. In order to refresh and reboot, you’ll need to give it a little extra rub and scrub to exfoliate the accumulated duff and get the circulation going. In the spirit of spring cleaning, why not add a few minutes of skin brushing to your bathing routine?

Did you know that your skin sloughs off a million dead cells every day? Dry skin brushing helps this natural process by both loosening the top layer of skin and brushing it away. It also helps the regeneration of new cells by stimulating your circulation. Here’s how it goes:

You’ll need a natural bristle brush. The general rule is a firmer brush & touch for your body and softer brush & touch for your face. Starting at your feet, work your way up your body, brushing in circular, up & down, and back & forth strokes. Don’t forget the back of your knees or under your chin. You can brush a little more vigorously on your arms, legs and back and a little more gently on your chest and belly. Use a softer brush or spa mask for your face. As you proceed, don’t let your mind wander. Keep your awareness on your body and center your thoughts and internal dialogue solely on loving thoughts and appreciation. If self-judgment or negative thinking happens to surface, just brush it all away with everything else. Now, take a shower or bath and wash the old stuff away.

Afterwards, notice how your skin feels. This is your circulation moving. Notice how your skin looks. The radiant, alive visage you see in the mirror reflects a healthy, functioning system. Notice how your general mood. Perhaps, that perky, alert feeling is the awakening of something new and intriguing. Radiant, resilient skin makes it feel easy to be seen and meet the future. I was reminded of this recently when a young friend commented on how good I looked and I thought to myself, “Yeah, dry skin brushing!”

But, skin brushing isn’t just skin deep. Metaphorically, this simple routine, gets it all moving- body, mind & spirit. You jettison the old thoughts and stale energy along with the old skin. You sweep aside the old emotional detritus and anchor awareness in present time. Doing this little bit of self-care with conscious intention delivers a regenerative message deep in the psyche. Along with the new skin, you’re inviting new ideas and possibilities. It turns out, this skin brushing isn’t just doing something positive for your body-self, it’s doing something for your whole self.

Of course, it would be lovely if I had year around commitment to being aware and taking care. Like many people, even though something is good for me, once I start feeling on top of it, I forget and just cruise on by even the simplest self-care practice. The lovely thing about dry skin brushing is that it’s always there in my tool box when I need it. Any time I’m feeling sluggish, stuck, or discouraged, just a little brush of the skin gets it all moving again- inspiration, enthusiasm, and the momentum to follow my bliss.

Resources:

Dry skin brushes can be found at your local health food store or on the internet.

Reveal Your Glow. This book by skin expert Donna Steinmann, creator of Sweet Bee Magic, describes a simple dry brush and skin care routine and the science behind it. Reading it will change how you think about your skin and transform the way you look and feel.

Also, my upcoming book has a whole chapter on basic body care practices that will change the way you think about, relate to and live in your body.

A Guide to Body Wisdom: What Your Mind Needs to Know About Your Body. Available in June through Llewellyn Worldwide.

Fire, Mud and Blue Skies

Why we’re still reeling and what to do about it.

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PHOTO CREDIT: MATTHEW KOSLOSKI ON UNSPLASH.COM

Our community is finally settling down after being slammed by record-breaking fires, toxic smoke, devastating mudslides, and incalculable human loss. The freeway is open and people are returning to the evacuated areas. The sky is crispy blue and days are sparkly beautiful as Santa Barbara always is in the wintertime. Although there’s still a lot of clean up and healing to be done, there’s a sense that normalcy may be on the horizon. Then, why are so many people still feeling stuck, uninspired and slightly panicked?

Feeling unmoored, uncertain, dazed, fazed, and numb is to be expected after nearly two months of hyper vigilance and elevated cortisol levels. Whether directly impacted or not, we’ve all been touched by these traumatic times. Closing your eyes, it’s easy to conjure images of crowded escape routes, eyes peering over the top of N05 face masks, and charred landscapes with cars & houses rammed into trees. Tuning in to your body, there’s an imprint of anxiety in the viscera and tension in the muscles. Listening to stories of loss and heroism, evokes a sudden flood of tears. And, attempting to focus and take care of business, feels impossible with a layer of impenetrable fuzz is sitting on your creativity.

During the crisis, your sympathetic nervous system went on high alert to help you make quick decisions, get the hell out, and save lives. But, now, this geared up physiology is neither helpful nor healthy. Getting stuck in survival mode only results in hypertension, headaches, inflammation, shallow breathing, elevated blood pressure, fatigue and digestive problems. If you have any of these symptoms or feel slightly stunned, irritable, confused or depressed, now’s the time to be pro-active and do something about it.

Here are four steps to help your body-mind recalibrate and return to an everyday sense of safety and confidence.

First step…just sit quietly.

In order to shift from the habit of watching every bit of news and rehashing every trauma, you need to unhook and be present in this moment and this moment only. Turn it off the chatter and be in your body, in your breath, in the intimate space of right now. No past, no future, no agenda except sitting quietly. Feel your feet on the floor, touching base. Feel your breath move your bones, bringing healing. If you need some help with this step, check out biofeedback therapist Tina Lerner’s five-minute meditation.

Somatic message= Your body connects you to earth and spirit in present time.

Second step…find tension and relax.

Put on some soft music & soak in a candle-lit bath. Do some yoga, take a walk, get an acupuncture or chiropractic treatment, call your massage therapist. Many people have told me they feel foggy, stuck, uptight, and/ or out of their bodies altogether. Getting some good body work will help you relax, reconnect and rebalance. After a recent session, Judy wrote: “Thank you so much for regrouping me. Not only can I breathe again but I’m now out of pj’s & feel more inspired and focused.”

Somatic message= Your body is a safe and steady reference point.

Step three…rebuild your confidence.

Be patient, take it slowly, cut yourself some slack. The impact of a disaster is all-encompassing. Recovering your sense of self is physical, psychological, and deeply personal. Give yourself time to reconnect and put your life back in order again. Your body is listening to the words you use and thoughts you think so reframe the negatives into positives- even if you’re not quite there yet. FYI: coming together in a healing circle might be a good idea (facilitated by AHA, call 805-770-7200x5 for information).

Somatic message= Take all the time you need to heal and recover.

Step four…seek a larger context.

The disruption of your world may be an opportunity to re-evaluate and re-prioritize. Feel the connection to all life, loved ones, and community. As you reflect on where you’ve been and what you’ve been through, invite insight from your deepest knowing. Let your perspective get really big and look for a place of calm acceptance. Open to the support of caring words, thoughts, and gestures from the people who love you. See your path extending to the horizon where life is back in order again and go there. Find the awe. In the words of psychologist, Don McManus, “Awe is mind-bending, somehow altering our understanding or experience of the world.” Celebrating the Power of Awe.

Somatic message= You are not alone.

I hope this is helpful.

Holiday Sensibility

How to Indulge without Over-Indulging.

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PHOTO CREDIT: BROOKE LARK ON UNSPLASH.COM

The holidays come around every year. And, each year, we have a chance to fine tune our participation. What if there was a way to indulge your pleasure without the distraction, weight gain and headache of over-indulgence? Here are some ways your sensible body can help you be conscious and enjoy the gustatory delights of the season:

Savor the flavors and scents. Ninety percent of the taste is sourced in the aroma. Ponder the qualities and nuances of each bite.

• Slow down- Linger a bit. Take time to chew thoroughly to maximize your pleasure and help your digestion.

• Less is more- It’s the first couple of bites that really taste good. Notice how palate fatigue sets in after 3 or 4 bites.

• Listen- When your belly says it’s had enough, pay attention. Don’t override your body and over-indulge because it won’t really be fun anymore.

• Keep an eye on sugar consumption-the AHA suggests that between 20 and 36 grams of sugar is the daily max.

• Take time to digest. The rule of thumb is to allow two or three hours before bedtime. Maybe an evening meditation recounting the many pleasures of the meal is in order.

As you approach the holiday season, tuning in and paying attention will help you partake of the many pleasures, enjoy them thoroughly, and back away when you’re satiated. Then, the next day, you won’t have to deal with the pains of over-consumption.

And, let me know how it goes! I’d love to hear about your experiences and insights.

Get in Touch

A Good Night’s Sleep

When you sleep well, you look better, feel better, and function better the next day. Setting up your sleep situation so your body can relax completely makes a lot of sense. Check out the S. L. E. E. P. video I produced to help you get your body-mind in the zone where sleep can find you.

And look for my book, A Guide to Body Wisdom: What Your Mind Needs To Know About Your Body (Llewellyn Worldwide) forthcoming in June, 2018.

Experiment with Vitamin N

PHOTO CREDIT: BRIAN MANN

Whether it’s exercise, fresh air, negative ions, or unplugging from the grid, being in nature helps you slow down, calm down, and get grounded. Author Richard Louv coined the phrase “nature deficit disorder” to describe the negative consequences of too much virtual and too little real time. His recent book, Vitamin N, sites studies showing how spending time in nature helps ADHD, depression & anxiety, obesity & myopia, and the immune system. It’s also a good way to disconnect from the demands of a scheduled life and reconnect with your essential self.

I hope this summer gives you an opportunity to get away from your complicated indoor life and spend some time outdoors. In a spirit of playfulness, why not turn off your iPhone and discover the influence of Vitamin N on your body & mind? All you need is a place with more nature than concrete. Set up an experiment to evaluate the N experience- before and after. At the onset, how does your body feel? Is it tired, heavy, agitated, or numb? Is your mind flooded with chatter, judgment, or impatience? Then, spend ten minutes sitting on a rock or bench tuning in to your senses. What do you hear, see, smell, and feel? If your mind wanders off, bring it back to what’s real, right around you. Afterwards, check in with your body/ mind and reevaluate.

Spending unstructured, focused time near trees, rocks, water, and wildlife is a good way to get a healthy dose of Vitamin N. When you take the time to do it, you’ll definitely feel the difference. And, once you do, you’ll want to go back again and again.

NOTE: You can find three interesting and delightful exercises to enhance your N experiment in my longer post at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/author/ann-642.

Rabbit Saves The Day

PHOTO CREDIT: TPSDAVE

As I sat at my desk, pondering the publishing industry and my stuck energy one day last week, some movement caught my attention. I looked up to see a rabbit eating geraniums in the terraced garden outside my window. A rabbit, how sweet! In that moment, my attention shifted from churning internal worries to the simple beauty of nature. I wondered if this rabbit had a helpful message for me.

Because I know that animals can be symbols of greater meaning, I went to the Internet and looked up Rabbit. Rabbit is known for luck (rabbit foot), fertility (multiply like bunnies), and fear (scared as a rabbit). It also represents family, shyness, and creativity. Seeing Rabbit changed my orientation from feeling snared and fearful to seeing writing as a creative endeavor that demands productivity, exposure, acceptance of failure and success, as well as a bit of luck here and there.

Rabbit saved the day for me. Maybe the next time you need to get out of a funk, you’ll notice what animals show up. Personalizing their symbolic message is a good way to change your perspective, tap deep inner knowing, and start things moving again.

See the complete article on HuffPost.com

Postscript: Shortly after Rabbit appeared in my window, I got a good publishing offer from Llewellyn Worldwide for my book on body wisdom. In addition to describing ways to listen to and follow your inner knowing, this book helps readers broaden their perspective and feel connected to all life. Look for Body Wisdom: How to Listen To, Care For, and Enjoy Your Most Valuable Asset in Spring of 2018!