Feb 2020 - Show Up for Love
/
Photo Credit: Gus Moretta on Unsplash.com
Valentine’s Day is about love. More than an idea or a sentiment, love is a relationship. In addition to romantic love, you love your family and pets, home and garden, job, community, country, and planet Earth. Taking a moment to acknowledge these relationships can be as simple as sending a card, sitting in quiet appreciation, or sharing time with a loved one. Being present in that moment is a bit more complicated. When you’re acclimated to the pace and intensity of a creative, multidimensional life, shifting gears to show up for love can be hard to pull off. Tuning in to your smart body will help.
From your body’s point of view, love is potent. Research shows that feeling love relaxes the muscles in the chest and increases oxytocin (the love hormone). You experience this as a warm, fuzzy feeling. Conversely, feeling hate or disdain, increases muscular tension and stress hormones. You experience this as anxiety or…heartache. Connecting the heart to love is nothing new. The Rig Veda, an ancient Hindu scripture written in 1500 BC, recognized the heart chakra as the center of love. Opening this chakra was the key to giving/ receiving love.
Finding your heart chakra is pretty simple. Not exactly at the site of your organic heart, this chakra occupies space directly behind your breastbone. Put your hand there and it’s easy to imagine a link to empathy, acceptance of others, and love. This heart space in your body is like an emotional barometer. It feels soft and light when you’re nurtured; braced and heavy when you’re criticized. It tightens up when you’re resentful, jealous, or judgmental. And, it opens up with appreciation and compassion. During somatic therapy, people often report compression in their chest when dealing with grief or despair. In contrast, when they feel held in love and high regard, their chest releases and it’s easier to breathe. When you open your heart, you’re ready to show up for love.
Here’s a meditation to open your heart. Find a quiet, comfortable, private place to sit for five minutes. Take a few breaths to connect with your conscious body. Close your eyes and let your fingers rest on lightly on your chest. Then, breathing into your heart space, feel the filling and emptying, front and back. Let this movement literally loosen up any stiffness or stillness. The backstory isn’t important, just find the holding and get it flowing. Exhale it all away and inhale compassion and acceptance. As your breathing runs into less and less resistance, your heart space will feel more expansive. Just let it get bigger and bigger until there’s room for all you love. Bring this quality of big love to share with others.
Whether on Valentine’s Day or any other day of the year, coming from an open-hearted place augments intimacy. Speaking with an open-heart gives substance to your loving intentions. This can happen anywhere- sitting in front of a cozy fire, at a table for two in a restaurant, or walking side by side on the beach. Because language is often emotionally wired and image driven, talking and staying present at the same time can be challenging. If your mind wanders off for any reason and the intimate moment falters, don’t worry. Just return to your body and its heart space to give/receive love in real time.
Showing up with an open heart invites other people to show up and open up as well. When your heart is open, the channel is open for loving thoughts, feelings, and words. Given that we live in such a time of discord and distress, finding a day to share a bit of love sounds like a good idea.